Carry me out in your arms.....

Forwarded message: A story worth reading.....


Carry me out in your arms



On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped
in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out
of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then
plump and shy.

I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years
ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,
I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a
civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost
at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Tanya came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Tanya hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This
was
the apartment I bought for her.

Tanya said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her
words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife
said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Tanya's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture,
O.K.?

I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the
idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be
something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No
matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,
she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was
sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched
TV together.

Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Tanya's body. This
was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what
will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from
her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was
serious.

When my wife went to my office, Tanya had just stepped out. Almost all
the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She
gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Tanya said to me, Allen, divorce her, O.K.? Then we shall
live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something
to tell you, I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want to divorce, I raised the serious topic
calmly.

She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, why? .

I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her
angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a
man!

At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew
she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to
Tanya. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my
company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain
in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would
become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer.

Later that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw
her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up,
I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from
me,
but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in
the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason
was
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, Allen, do
you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms, she
continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your
arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you
must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Tanya about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made
me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when
I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't
tell
our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the
door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine
wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.
The
visualization of Tanya became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking,
etc.
I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Tanya about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried
quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my
dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it
was
because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because
I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.

Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to
touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He
said.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential
part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind
at
the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to
our
wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.

Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I was hoping you will
hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said,
Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid
any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Tanya
opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Tanya, I won't divorce her. I'm
serious.

She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no
fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Tanya, I said, I
can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce her. My marriage life was
boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not
because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since
I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed
to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Tanya seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to
the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the
greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out
every morning until we are old.